Well, as all of you involved with the club know, the anniversary of hide's death is today. (In Japan, tomorrow in the U.S.)

I suppose I can talk all I want about hide's death, that it wasn't the way out, that it could've been handled differently. There are many theories--did hide do this purposely? Was it an accident?

While people are arguing about that, hide is still dead.

I for one, don't believe suicide is cowardly, but at the same ironic time, very frightening. It's an act of desperation, and at the very least the "feeling" of escape. Desperation is very frightening, but I can't even imagine how much desperation hide was feeling. That's a lot of one kind of emotion, let alone all the others that were undoubtedly surging through his body.

His music touched us; his appearance intrigued us, which is why we still admire and love hide today. He hasn't changed to us, even if most of us found out about his music after his death. Despite that, it's good to have someone you look up to. Despite that, it's good to have someone to listen to. That you like listening to.

He jump started a lot of dreams, and I ask of you, if you have any respect for him, any kind of lingering love or affection, please carry out the dreams you have. Whether hide inspired them or not, just carry them out without any regrets. Target it---make sure it's what you want and fly with it.

You never know what will sneak up behind you, and what you'll do in reaction to it.

Instead of looking down on this in sadness, look up to the sky in happiness. I don't know how many times I've randomly begun singing: "Sweet creature soul! It's a lemon-lemon-lemoned I scream!"

Take care.

Hideto "hide" Matsumoto

1964 - 1998


Someone we will never forget. He's Ever Free, if you get what I mean.